It’s a GIRL πŸŽ€! Baby Update!

It’s been a little while since I’ve posted an update. I am happy to say that tomorrow I officially enter the βž‹πŸ…πŸ…“ πŸ…£πŸ…‘πŸ…˜πŸ…œπŸ…”πŸ…’πŸ…£πŸ…”πŸ…‘ at 13 weeks!!! πŸŽ‰

I’m hoping that soon the nausea will improve. I am having some better days but its still very overpowering. The Obgyn doubled my Diclectin and thats helped a lot but also makes me drowsy.

I met my new obgyn and she is lovely. She made me feel very comfortable & that she will take good care of our baby Frostie. She said “this baby is a miracle and I will protect it” and hugged me. I liked her right away. I see her again today for another appointment.

She wrote me off work a few more weeks to rest and I will be returning on a modified basis the week of May 20th. I am looking forward to getting back to work and out of the house, but also am nervous as the days are busy as a nurse and I’m hoping my body will allow me to keep up. All I can do is try my best!

She also informed me that she will be inducing me by 38 weeks if baby has not arrived. With my retroverted tilted uterus she said it’s too risky to go past 38 weeks. She also told me she will do her best to allow for a vaginal birth but to prepare for a c-section as there is a good possibility of that happening with my uterus. I’m considered high risk so I am fine with whatever keeps me baby and myself safe & healthy. So looks like this baby could make her entrance by end of October possibly! 🀱🏻

Now this past weekend was very exciting as we had our gender reveal with our families πŸ’—.

Now you may be wondering how we found out the gender so early in our pregnancy. We did the Panorama blood test which you pay for but is 99% accurate in determining if the baby has any chromosomal abnormality risks and also can determine the gender through the fetal blood mixed with my maternal blood. You may do this test as early as 9 weeks. Our test came back great with low risk for any abnormalities and the clerk at my dr’s office was lovely to put the gender in a sealed envelope so I couldn’t see it. I drove straight to my best friend Patty’s house and gave to her. She was in charge of stuffing the llama pinata with the appropriate colour (yes a llama pinata was essential haha).

We patiently waited for May 4th to come upon us and my sister came over and decorated my house up. It looked great. We also baked a cake together and just made the day something special to remember. And a special day it was filled with guesses, joy, laughter & happy tears. I had thought baby was a boy but Mike knew was a girl. My Mom, Nana and Patty were the only other three that thought girl while everyone else was convinced was going to be a baby boy.

When I saw the pink come out of thr pinata (after a bit of a struggle) I just felt so much emotion come over me. We were going to have a daughter. If you had told me a year ago that I would have been doing our gender reveal I would have hoped was true but probably wouldn’t have believed it with all the heartbreak we had gone through.

Finding out we’re having a GIRL!

But I am a believer! This is our time. Our daughter is just as much of a fighter as her Mom & Dad. We fought with everything we had to get her here and she fought to stay with us. My heart is so full and we feel incredibly blessed. She’s our miracle. We cannot wait to meet you little one. Or as Daddy already is calling you, his little princess πŸ‘‘.

We had an ultrasound yesterday as she was wiggling all over the place and throwing her arma into the air. The tech had a hard time doing the measurements she had to do as she wouldn’t cooperate for her haha. She’s looking more and more like a tiny human everytime we see her.

We are thrilled that things are going so well and we are officially 1/3 of the way there! πŸ™πŸ»

#babygirlBalogh #ABabyfortheBaloghs #babyfrostie

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Baby has a Strong Heartbeat! πŸ’“

We had our first ultrasound on Tuesday at our clinic and it went perfectly. We saw baby Frostie ❄ on the screen measuring exactly on track . The tech unfortunately wouldn’t let us hear the heart beat stating it was not “safe” which was disappointing but she did show us it beating on the screen and that was enough for us. Baby’s heart beat was strong at 151bpm and everything looked great. Baby is doing well πŸ‘ΆπŸ»β€.

Baby Balogh’s heart beating

I also had another beta hcg drawn yesterday and it’s increased significantly at 65,610 which is a great number for this stage of pregnancy.

We met with our Reproductive Endocrinologist after the ultrasound who I adore and she hugged us and told us how happy she is. She said everything looked so good that she discharged us from the clinic at Mount Sinai Fertility 😫. I was not expecting this but she said this is a good thing. She only continues to monitor patients that she has concerns with, so by discharging us this shows she feels strongly about this pregnancy. She told us a heart beat of 151bpm is very strong and we have no reason to worry at this time.

I even get to stop taking the progesterone twice daily next Wednesday at 8 weeks!! 🀩

I have been feeling good but the nausea has hit full force in the past week. I feel sick morning to night and it’s been kind of hard. But I’m not complaining! The fact I feel so sickly means baby B is growing and just reminding me he/she is there! I was prescribed Diclectin for the nausea and its helping a bit.

Made me chuckle that the anti-nausea medication has a pregnant lady on it πŸ˜‚

I also have been feeling very tired and definitely have been thankful for afternoon (and sometimes evening) naps. I’ve never been a napper as I hate wasting my day but these days I welcome them ☺😴.

I am currently off work as per my RE and have a few more weeks off. I am very thankful for this ability to rest and take care of myself without having to worry about working in a stressful nursing environment, especially with everything I’ve gone through to get to this point. This pregnancy is and must be my number one priority.

We have another ultrasound next Thursday at 8 weeks 1 day and I’m so excited to see little baby Balogh again and see how much he/she has grownβ™‘β™‘.

I am currently in the process of being referred to a Barrie OBGYN specialist to take over our prenatal care, but in the meantime my family GP will assume care. My RE in Toronto sent over a detailed package with instructions for what she wants him to do and how I should be monitored. It’s been scary knowing I won’t be monitored anymore by the clinic I’ve come to trust so much but I know she wouldn’t do anything she didn’t believe was right and safe for us both.

We appreciate the love and support we have been receiving from everyone, & how invested everyone is in our story and journey 🀰🏻❀.

We still have a long way to go but we are 7 weeks down and finally I am starting to really believe this is our miracle. We are so excited for what’s to come. Baby Balogh’s due date remains Novemever 13th, 2019 πŸ‘ΆπŸ»πŸ˜.


#ABabyfortheBaloghs #babyfrostie #7weeks1daytoday #babybaloghcomingsoon #babybalogh #pregnant #miraclesdohappen #fetsuccess #fet #ivfsuccess #ivfjourney #ivf #icsi #ttc #tww #pregnancyannouncement #infertility #infertilityawareness #dor #diminishedovarianreserve #lowspermmotility #happiness #baby #babybalogh #babyB

We’re Pregnant!! 🀰

I just want to keep shouting those words over & over I can hardly believe this is real life. I AM PREGNANT. I wondered if I would ever get to say those 3 little words…and after 1,650 days (almost 5 years of trying to conceive) I finally can! 🀩

Wednesday March 6th is a day I will never forget as it’s the day we found out that our little frostie chose to stay with us and that we are expecting a baby this coming November πŸ˜β„β€ (November 13th to be exact but I have a feeling that date may change a wee bit). Thirteen is a lucky number for us as we got engaged on the 13th of December!

We knew we would have our pregnancy beta hcg test on Wed. March 6th which is Ash Wednesday. I woke up that morning and I knew in my heart I was pregnant. I felt it. I felt different than I ever had before. My stomach had begun to get this queasy, unsettled feeling the past few days and I had developed insomnia. My lips were super dry and I was always thirsty. I noticed some feelings of fullness in my uterus and some very mild cramping. On the Sunday I had had some brown spotting & cramping and I’m convinced that was implantation. I was using the washroom a lot. I told Mike if the test came back negative I would be shocked. I had refrained and resisted from any kind of home testing and chose this time to wait for the blood results. Each time in the past that I tested and saw that stark white home test all it did was fill me with saddnes, fear and dredd. This time I wanted to choose to believe I was pregnant until i had a reason not too.

My beta was at 9am and I got in the car to drive to the lab and I said a prayer πŸ™ to my Dad in heaven to please let this be it…please let this be our time. Since this was the beginning of lent I gave up drinking pop (soda for you Americans reading haha) and vowed to stick to it (not risking anything at this point). I asked my Dad for a sign, anything to tell me all was going to be ok. I turned the ignition of my car and immediately the song “Ment to Be” by Bebe Rexha fT. FGL came on. When I heard those lyrics 🎢”if its ment to be,it will be, it will be, baby just let it be“🎢 I started to cry and I knew that was my sign. I went into the lab and had my blood drawn then got back in my car to drive home and our wedding song “All of Me” by John Legend came on and I just beamed from ear to ear. This IS it πŸ’œ This was gonna happen.

Anyone who has checked their own labs online knows when something is out of normal range a red ⚠️ shows up beside the test. I remember saying out loud to myself “please let it show a 50 but heck I’m not greedy I’ll take a 49!! Close enough”. When I checked online at 1:51pm and saw that symbol my heart literally skipped a beat and I knew it was good news. I clicked the test and the HCG level was ④⑨. I was pregnant. I instantly drove to the nearest Shoppers Drug Mart and bought a First Reponse test as I needed to see those 2 pink lines for the first time ever. And it was everything I had imagined it to be.

When it comes to HCG anything over 6 is considered pregnant and the doctors like to see a number 50 and above. I felt a bit fearful seeing that 49 but chose to believe it was ok. The nurse called me excitedly the next day at 7:05 am saying how happy everyone was for us. She didn’t seem worried at all seeing the 49 and told me the initial number is not that important it’s how it goes up that is what tells the story.

She said a good beta should increase at least 50% in 48 hours but seeing the number double is really good.

On Friday March 8th I had my second beta and although I felt confident it was hard to not be fearful and petrified this all was going to be taken away as soon as I got it. I went to acupuncture that day and right after I checked my result and saw the number had almost tripled at β‘ β‘’β‘  . I felt such joy & relief. Our little frostie wasn’t just growing he/she was thriving!!! πŸ™πŸ‘Ά

We had one more beta hcg test on Monday March 11th and I told myself as long as I saw a number above 300 that I would trust this was real and believe it. The number came back at β‘₯⑨⑧ and my jaw must’ve hit the floor. Wow! In that moment I felt like the last five years of stresses, anxieties, disappointments & heartbreaks were all worth it because they led us to our miracle. This baby is already so very loved ❀❀❀.

Now everyone is wondering how did I tell Mike the good news!! So let me tell you it was a looong day. I found out just before 2 pm that I was pregnant (I was alone) & Mike was already at work. I had decided not to call him at work and would wait until he got home at 11:30 pm. Of couse this night he got held late at work and didnt get home until 12:20 am πŸ˜–. In December of 2015 about a year and a bit after we had been trying naturally, I ordered and had a puzzle made and thought that’s how I would surprise my husband. How cute would that be! Little did I know then that I would have to wait 3 years and 3 months to finally use it! I’ve kept it hidden from him all these years just waiting and hoping for the day. And it finally came 😁

Watch Mike find out he is going to be a Daddy β™‘

This smile is everything

After I told Mike the news we could finally tell our families. I kept the news to myself all day & we were bursting to share our happy news. Mike and I called his parents & my Mom right away and everyone was over the moon with happiness. We then proceeded to tell our siblings and our closest friends over the next few days. The love, support & excitement we felt from everyone just filled us up inside. We are so excited to share this journey with everyone. This will be the first grandchild for my Mom & first great-grandchild for my Nana πŸ’›.

Infertility has taken countless tears from us, caused me to take hundreds of medications & injections, more bloodwork & ultrasounds than I can even count anymore, over 12,000 kms driven on my vehicle just for appointments , spent enough money that covers a childs 4 year university degree, and has made me realize the true patience & strength required to go on a lengthy journey such as ours. But today I can proudly & happily say that πŸ…¦πŸ…” πŸ…‘πŸ…”πŸ…πŸ…£ πŸ…˜πŸ…πŸ…•πŸ…”πŸ…‘πŸ…£πŸ…˜πŸ…›πŸ…˜πŸ…£πŸ…¨!

This was our one & only embryo and it worked. It only takes β‘ ! Our little embie that could…and it did!

I hope this post bring happiness & joy to all of you that have prayed with us, hoped for us and felt sad with us. And we thank each and everyone of you β™‘

To the woman or man wishing to be parents and reading this right now…please let this serve as a beacon of hope that π•„π•šπ•£π•’π•”π•π•–π•€ 𝕕𝕠 β„π•’π•‘π•‘π•–π•Ÿ & not to give up. There were so many days where Mike and I truly thought this would never happen but we chose to believe in the hope that it could and that’s what kept us going & I’m so glad we never gave up! πŸ˜β€πŸ‘« It still doesn’t even feel real yet!

We still have a long way to go and many milestones ahead to cross and I don’t think I’ll fully be able to breathe until our baby is in our arms. But today I am blessed. Today I am hopeful. Today I am elated with joy. Today I join the category of courageous women you call πŸ„ΌπŸ„ΎπŸ…ƒπŸ„·πŸ„΄πŸ… β™‘β™‘β™‘

We have our first ultrasound booked for Tuesday March 26th at our clinic where we will see our little frostie for the first time & hear its little heart beating πŸ’“.We will be 6 weeks and 6 days at time of scan. We’ve waited for this day for so long and I just cannot wait!

Please continue to send love, prayers and baby dust to our little Baby to continue to grow and flourish. Get cozy little one for the next 8 months!!! πŸ˜πŸ’œ

#ABabyfortheBaloghs #babyfrostie #fourweekssixdaystoday #babybaloghcomingsoon #babybalogh #pregnant #miraclesdohappen #fetsuccess #fet #ivfsuccess #ivfjourney #ivf #icsi #ttc #tww #pregnancyannouncement #infertility #infertilityawareness #dor #diminishedovarianreserve #lowspermmotility #happiness #baby #babybalogh #babyB

FET Success!! ❄❀

Officially PASP! β„πŸ™β€πŸ€žπŸ€°
(Pregnant And Staying Pregnant)

Today started out rocky as I couldn’t find my lucky shirt (so I rocked my Backstreet Boys concert tee) and forgot my pineapple earrings but I did wear my alpaca socks πŸ˜‰. Then with the blizzard of the year and a 70+ car pile up that we just barely missed…but we made the journey to Toronto safely and we are thankful.

The clinic was running about 1.5hrs behind so we had to wait (which is uncomfortable with a full bladder wanting to burst) but then it was finally out turn!

The embryologist came to speak with us and told us that little baby Frostie had survived the thaw & looked great. He (Mike’s convinced it’s a boyπŸ’™) expanded back to normal form and assisted hatching was performed to help with hatching & implantation. He remains a Day 6 embryo with a grading of 3CB.

Procedure room- glimpse into moments before transfer procedure

The transfer went smoothly & was actually the best of the four transfers I’ve experienced. The RE on call today was the same one who did our recent egg retrieval and she was wonderful. She found my uterus faster than most, and even though she said it’s hard to visualize as it’s quite retroverted (tilted towards my spine and flipped onto itself), she seemed confident with placement and the embryo was transferred successfully. She appeared pleased with how things went which has left us feeling confident & hopeful πŸ˜ŽπŸ‘Œ.

Finished off with some acupuncture post transfer & McDonald’s 🍟 for good luck πŸ€- apparently the salt in the fries are good for implantation πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ worth a shot and c’mon they taste so gooood!

Now the journey for the oh so long TWW [two week wait] commences & I have promised myself & hubsie to stay positive and happy and enjoy this “pregnancy” until I have a reason not too – which isn’t happening as fourth times the charm, baby!!! (See what I did there…positive already. I’m putting it out to the universe so it shall be true!).

Keep saying your prayers & sending baby dust our way. Thank you to everyone who messaged me today via text or social media. We truly felt all your love & hope for this little one.

❀❄❀

This is our little embie that could…our little fighter.

#fet #fourthtimesthecharm #pasp #pupo #embryotransfer #ivf #myivfjourney #littleembiethatcould #frostie #ttc #tww #pregnancy #prayingforourmiracle #infertility #dor #lowamh #ABabyfortheBaloghs

February means FET!

It’s here! The month we will transfer baby Frost (our frozen embryo) 😍.

I went for my first blood work & ultrasound on Valentine’s Day πŸ’(funny enough) and there were a few follicles growing with the largest being 0.9mm. Now the goal is to watch for a dominant follicle to grow and reach 1.8mm in size and watch for a LH surge indicating ovulation or potential for ovulation. Then plan is to take Ovidrel to trigger and ensure ovulation does happen when ready.

Currently my LH was 13 on Thursday which the nurse said is high but my hormone levels seem to always sit on the elevated side. Because of this ovulation predictor kits may be unreliable and we need to rely entirely on the ultrasounds and watching for a spike in my LH levels. I’m hoping my elevated levels won’t lead to any issues with preparation for transfer.

I go back again tomorrow morning to re-check bloodwork and see how that dominant follicle is growing. Then plan will be to continue going down to Toronto daily until the RE feels I am ready to trigger ovulation.

We have chosen with the doctor to do a natural FET. What that means is we aren’t going to use any hormones leading up to the ovulation shot to see if less stress on the system works better in our favour. Because I have always had fairly regular cycles, good estrogen levels and no concern with my uterine lining thickness there was no concern with trying a less medicated route (and since I have always been on such high doses of hormones it is a welcomed change).

The plan then after trigger is to start progesterone twice daily for 6 days and on the 6th day they will thaw our frostie and embryo transfer will happen that day. Our embryo was a day 6 embryo meaning it was grown for 6 days and then frozen. The embryo once thawed is transferred at the same stage of growth that it would have been if natural conception had happened during this cycle in utero. The goal is to trick my body into thinking that when I ovulated I got pregnant so that my body will support this embryo. Progesterone which is important in sustaining a pregnancy then continues twice daily for up to week 10 of pregnancy or until a negative beta (pregnancy) test.

Now statistics show 10-20% of frozen ❄ embryos do not survive the thawing process. This is really scary as that means 1 in 5 embryos don’t make it. That’s a pretty high statistic but we need to continue to hope and believe ours will beat the odds πŸ™.

Will keep you all updated as we get closer to transfer date.

February is the month of Love, and there’s a whole lot of love to go around so we are feeling this month is meant to be the month for baby Frost πŸ’™πŸπŸ€ž

#ABabyfortheBaloghs #FET #babyfrost

Hysteroscopy Update

Well hysteroscopy is done and everything looked clear & good. Uterus is nice and open, fallopian tubes are open, no abnormalities seen and nothing to be concerned about.

Absolutely NOT what I wanted to hear…I was really hoping she would find a problem to explain why none of our embies stick.

Picture: Top left is uterine lining, top right/bottom left are the openings into each fallopian tube and bottom right is visualizing opening into uterus

I know this is good & I should be happy and I am in a sense but more so I’m frustrated and feel like we waited 6 weeks to know nothing more than we knew then. I really NEEDED some answers. Something.

My Dr recommends we go ahead next cycle with FET (frozen embryo transfer) with our Grade 3CB frostie (baby Frost as Mike has now named him – he also believes it’s a boy). Then we can go from there. Laparoscopic diagnostic surgery was mentioned but she wants to proceed with FET before any next steps then go from there if we need too.

So bring on FET in February! Let’s make a baby! β„πŸ‘ΆπŸ¦„

Trying to stay optimistic & positive…its getting harder each time. Want to protect my heart from more pain & heartache.

#ivf #fet #infertility #ivfjourney #pregnancy #ttc #hysteroscopy #frostie #embryo #embryotransfer #infertilityawareness #infertilitysucks #ABabyfortheBaloghs #miraclescanhappen #nextsteps #tryingtostaypositive

Infertility: The Silent Illness

Angry. Mad. Shamed. Misunderstood. Complicated. Sad. Heartbroken. Confused. Terrified. Broken. Empty…

These are just a few of the choice adjectives I would use to describe how a person battling infertility may feel at any given time during their battle and journey.

Although you may look at them and think “she/he looks alright I don’t see anything physically wrong” you must understand the mental and emotional warfare that goes on inside.

You may wonder why we aren’t going to social gatherings like we used too, why we don’t seem as happy and joyful as we once were, why we aren’t at work and are taking time off, or you may wonder why you see me out at the grocery store or out to dinner with my spouse but not in the hallways at work or at social gatherings. Why can she/he do that but not this??

This is because WE are surviving infertility in any way that we can. Doing whatever we can that day to get through it and hopefully find some joy and happiness in that day. And that is absolutely okay. Whatever way you can improve your mental health is always the right way.

Have you ever wondered what your life would be like without children? I have and it is scary. I wonder to myself who will visit when my husband and I are old and grey. Not only will we never be parents, but we will not get to experience the joy of being Grandparents either. This breaks my heart to think about. What if something happens to my spouse…I will be all alone. Who will take care of us when we are unable to do this for ourselves? When our parents are no longer with us, what family will we have if we don’t have kids? We have siblings, nephews and neices but what if they move away? The list continues…

These are just some of the questions that burn in my mind on a daily basis and fill me with stress and anxiety. The struggle is hard and the fear is very real and hard to get past.

For some they want to keep themselves so busy so they don’t have to think about their recent losses or heartaches whereas others such as myself find it hard to focus on anything but just that. It’s like a cloudiness comes over your mind and you can’t focus or think straight anymore. A dark cloud grabs you and hugs you so tightly you worry will you ever get away from it. Will it consume you entirely that the only part left of you is infertility. Will this define me/us for the rest of my life…

The logical answer is no because I know I am a complex human being who is so much more than someone struggling to begin her family. But the fight and daily battle is real. When you want something so natural and by human nature something my body was designed to do but just can’t seem to obtain…it does consume your life and your mind. No matter how hard you try to forget.

Every month begins another cycle that starts with hope and ends with saddness, thus far. For a lucky few of us the tides change and finally one month that cycle ends with joy and elation only to start another journey of fear and worry of “will this pregnancy be viable and will it last?”. People who aren’t infertile don’t realize that the fear and worry doesn’t end for most when they finally see those two pink lines. I know this as I talk to many of these women daily and hear their struggles and new fears and I know this will be me too if I’m fortunate enough to get there.

As time goes on and with each year that passes during your battle to overcome infertility, these worries and emotions only get magnified and worsen. The fear this may never happen creeps and makes itself known. It whispers in your ear making sure you do not forget its presence like a plague. It wants you to remember your pain.

And like every woman or man going through this we rise up like warriors in battle to defeat that voice in our heads and we continue on. We do not give up. We will not let this beat us. Sometimes we win but sometimes we don’t. And that is okay because that is real life. It is hard for all of us. We all have hardships in our lives and even if you cannot relate to infertility, I know you can relate to pain and heartache.

So I ask that you be patient with your loved one while they are on this journey. I ask that you not judge them for their failures and celebrate them for their triumphs even if they seem small to you. I assure you it will mean the world to that person to feel supported. No one expects you to understand our experience but we do expect our friends and family to love us through it and be supportive. If support means not saying anything because you don’t know the right thing to say then that is okay too.

But please don’t ask us why we can’t come out or why we cannot work or why we don’t seem as happy as we once were. And I am speaking from personal experience with this because it is hurtful and makes us feel like we are being judged and not supported. It makes me feel isolated. It makes me feel worse. It makes me sad.

The best thing anyone can do is just say, “I am here for you” and mean it.

β™‘β™‘β™‘