I found this article really good to put perspective on how sometimes well intentioned comments from a very genuine and good place can actuslly be hurtful to someone trying to conceive. For myself, the part of the article on adoption really resonates with us as we have that happen to us often where we are casually told to “just adopt ” and if I really want to be a Mom “I can always adopt”. This is hard for me as I constantly feel I have to defend myself as adoption is something we have definitely considered but have decided is not an option for us at this time. And I think that’s okay. It’s a personal decision and not one the reflects in any way a persons views on the subject (I think adoption is wonderful-my best friend is adopted- but it’s a very long, trying and expensive process. It’s not simple like some assume and it’s not guaranteed).
The desire to not give up on having a biological child is real and it is ok. I want to see a mini version of my husband & myself. I want to see those unique personality traits and giggle saying “oh he’s just like you Mike” or “she/he definitely got his outgoing personality from his Mom! (me)”.
Every person is unique, and every family dynamic is different. What works for one family and/or couple may not for another and vice versa. This is the great thing about choice and decisions. It allows us the ability to make decisions right for us and our family and you for yours. I ask that next time you are talking with someone who is struggling to keep this in mind. Sometimes it is better to ask “how can I help you” Or “what can I do?” versus offering an opinion. If they ask for your opinion then by all means give it. But if they don’t then listening and being there in the moment is the best gift you can give. ♡♡