Goodbye 2018…

I have been reading everyone’s new years posts & goals and have had a hard time thinking about the “good” things of 2018 because I feel they are overshadowed by the sadness & heartbreak we’ve experienced. I honestly am glad to say goodbye to 2018. I want a fresh start.
In 2018 we experienced:
2 failed IUI
3 egg retrievals
Lost 4 embryos with 3 fresh transfers
Have 1 frostie awaiting FET this year 🙏
Genetic testing
42 ultrasounds & 39+ blood draws
Approximately 189 injections
A lot of progesterone suppositories
Sooo many trips to downtown Toronto
Thousands of dollars spent
Another Christmas without baby (#5 to be exact)
And.So.much.waiting.
Heartache & disappointments 💔
Grief of the losses of who could have been our children. 💛
4 years of infertility is a lot!

BUT through all that we are still standing, still hopeful, and I am loved. For this I am truly grateful. For my husband & my kitty who make me a family of 3 in our own special way. Together we can survive and we must.

2018 taught me I am STRONG, PATIENT, VULNERABLE & a WARRIOR. 💪
I’ve put myself out there & shared our story- the good and the ugly. And I’ve helped others and for that I am happy & proud. If one woman or man can feel less alone or feel relatable than I can smile.

My goal for 2019 is to continue the converations to try to bring openess and awareness to infertility. Lets end the stigma together!
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So hello 2019! This WILL be our year. I’m putting it out to the universe so it shall happen. We will have our miracle. Our frostie will become our miracle baby. Its going to happen. It must…I don’t know what else to do if it doesn’t….

Honestly it’s getting really hard to keep positive & keep going.
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For all my TTC sisters & their partners, May 2019 be your year. May it be our year of unicorns, sunshine & rainbows. Let the storm pass and the sun shine bright! 🦄☀️🌈❄ May all your hopes & dreams come true. Continue to lift each other up in times of need. Xo
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And to everyone Happy New Year and much love & blessings to all. 💜❤
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